I was having trouble putting my finger on it. The uneasiness that had set into my days. I was blaming the lack of time to myself with all the activities that summer brings. Working from home holds extra challenges during the months when the children are not in school. The to do list gets longer and you start to day dream about quiet.
It was time to do something about it. I caught the husband when he was in a good mood so he could hear my aim and not my blame.
"I think we should go elephant hunting"
Insert look of Lard what is she on about now?
Me "The bastards are out of control"
I knew I'd have some explaining to do...
"You know those issues that we ignore because they suck? I envision them as inviting a gumball sized elephant to live in our house. He's quiet, doesn't really bother anyone but with each day he grows a little. He feeds on daily activities like laundry and guitar lessons. Has major growth spurts during holidays and vacations. Before you know it, he fills up the room and you realize he invited his friends".
So at the bottom of a bottle of wine. I'd convinced him to go big game hunting with me.
Have some pachyderms of your own? Here was the proposed procedure.
- Step One - Name the elephants - Shits bugging you that you think you're okay with. Start with the mammoths. Major life changing stuff like the call to the doctor that you should make, income tax or the brakes on the car.
- Step two - Call those bastards out. We have a giant chalk wall in our kitchen. I drew cartoon like outlines of elephants and filled them with code names that were very clear to us. Honestly do my in laws need to know that we didn't finish the concrete around the sump pump in the basement 3 years ago? You may want to draw bigger elephants for bigger issues, but the truth around here is even the little elephants are a problem. So on our wall they are just randomly represented by art space available.
- Step Three - Make a plan. Which one are you going after first? How are you going to corner him? Who's help do you need? Can you take two out a once?? Sometimes they travel together. Unfinished concrete in the basement, meet unfinished pool pad. You bad boys are going down.
- Step Four - Do something. The chances that your elephant is easy to corner are slim. If it was you would have taken him out already. Be careful not to get stuck in step three and sit around congratulating yourself about finally doing something about your problem. The tiniest step can brake the chains that were holding you in dormancy.
- Step five - Celebrate the hell out of your kills. Each of our elephants correlates to a dinner out -sans kids.
Here's a few things we learned on this mission. Notably while you and your partner live in the same house they may see different elephants. They also may not be bothered by some of the elephants that you believe are wrecking the most havoc.
Everyone has elephants. Everyone. So feeling bad about your elephants is a waste of your time and energy. You step on gumball sized elephants all the time without realizing. It's guaranteed someone has an elephant that is a complete non-issue in your life . So let's just get to huntin'. Celebrate our wins together and make a little extra room for joy in all of our lives.
You are brilliant! That's an excellent analogy & a creative, non-threatening way to tackle issues. I'm going to identify and name my elephants too :-D
ReplyDeleteoh those pesky elephants...with another long, cold winter looming, perhaps I'll corner a few...thanks for the creative reminder, Jaime!
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