No that's not my hero biscuit

I lost my opportunity for the ultimate Mom hero biscuit when I opted in for drugs during the c-section births of my three children, hanging her head in shame. So I'm not sure why medicating myself to get on a plane feels so dirty. I know passenger 12B in the seat beside me doesn't care when I sneak in my tiny pill, but they should. I could introduce them to young airline mechanic that was seated beside me a few years ago on a return flight. I grabbed him so suddenly and tightly during some turbulence that I felt I should write an apology letter to his Mother.

I've read the stats and know that I am technically safer in the air than I am in the car on way to the airport but here's my trouble with flying. I've run into enough people in different fields that are terrible at their job, that it is not a big leap to think that perhaps I might have a bad pilot. Now before you start in on the comments section, I know that planes are largely flown by computers and more than 1 pilot, so it takes a large collection of errors and factors to crash a plane. But it happens and when it does it's all over the media, like a giant beacon of warning to the fair weather flyer's like me.

Ironically I love to travel and take at least 6-8 flights a year. So I have developed a system that you are welcome to borrow.

Step 1- Set alarm, and wake frequently to make sure the hydro has not gone out.
Step 2 - Give up on sleep and have 2 coffees before leaving the house. Pack one for en route.
Step 3 - Arrive at the airport ridiculously early so to ensure enough time to elevate the anxiety levels.
Step 4 - Talk to every member of the airport staff to get a read on whether 'something is up' or not.
Step 5- Start process of bi-hourly peeing. Get another coffee.
Step 6 - Check out each passenger in the waiting area for signs of unstable behaviour.
Step 7 - Listen for boarding call. Contemplate leaving the airport.
Step 8 - Cautiously board plane, being sure to make eye contact with all attendants and peer into the cockpit to watch for shiftiness in the pilots.
Step 9 - Find seat and text a goodbye to all those you love before shutting down your phone.
Step 10- Resign yourself to the fact your life might be over. Repeat, "Let go. Let God", until your plane has levelled off.
Step 11- Land safely. Make mental notes regarding all promises made to your higher power and feel silly about Steps 1 -10.

You're welcome. j