There's an Elephant in my workspace.

I'm wrestling with a giant elephant who just won't listen to reason. Here's the conversation we have been having for over a week.

Elephant "I want some attention"
Me "I really want to spend some time with you, but I have a lot of work to do before I leave for my conference"
E - "But I am important too"
M - "You can wait. I need to be practical."
E - "What are you doing? Is that Facebook? That can't be work."
M- "Making use of social media is part of my job and it's none of your business anyway."
E -  " Hello...."
M- " Piss off."
E - " How about just a few minutes?"
M - "You know what that will lead to. It will be two hours, the kids will be home and I won't have got my work done."
E - " You suck. Other women balance way better"
M - "That was low. Have some class."
E- "I'd be way classier if you finished painting me. Just sayin."